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[kobes]

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[holyposition]

You can ask, if you want to ask.

[kobes]

Only if you want to talk about it.

[holyposition]

I don't mind talking about it.

I just feel like I have to justify it over and over and relive all the horrible stuff that brought us together, and then get judged for it anyway.

And I get it. I know how bad it looks.

[kobes]

I'm not going to pass judgement on you for that, Tim. I may not understand it -- I may be worried about you, and Alicent, and the potential outcome, but I can't stand here and say I haven't made
Ill-advised choices before. Or even ones that not everyone understands. You don't understand me and Shanks, really, right?

I don't want you to get hurt. And I don't know if I trust Aemond.

[holyposition]

I understand that he helped you get through something terrible that no one else here was equipped to. So maybe it isn't that different.

I trust him. I know how he comes off, I'm not clueless. But he won't hurt me. When it's just us, he's really sweet and gentle.

I know that sounds like a lie but I swear it isn't

[kobes]

Maybe not, no. It's
Complicated. It's the village, before here, too. It's different than anything else, and I know it isn't going to last forever, because I know we both have different destinies, but
I care about him very, very much.
So maybe I'm the best-equipped to understand.

I don't think he'd do it on purpose. I think being young and angry and raised to hate has an effect on people, and he might not realize he's hurting you. I can feel him, just like I can you, and he's just as fiery as the rest of his family.

And it's already hurt you. I know it has.

[holyposition]

I'm not living in a fantasy where I'll rescue him and whisk him away back home with me where he doesn't have to die riding into war. But while he's here he deserves a chance to have something that isn't that. And I rely on him, too.

I know. I know too much, maybe. He's confided a lot in me.

He hasn't. Not since really early on, before we understood each other.

[kobes]

But would you, if it were possible?
As long as you aren't trying to save him here either, Tim. That's not your job.

Has he?

I didn't say HE'D hurt you. I said the situation had. You've sacrificed, to be with him, haven't you?

[holyposition]

If I thought he'd come. But he won't. He has too much unfinished business back home.

He has. And I have. Alicent wants nothing more to do with me. She said some nasty things, and I could have handled it better. It was a disaster. I don't blame her for being shocked and upset

But I'll endure it for him, he's worth it to me.

[kobes]

Sounds familiar. At least things have been quieter, lately. Library closure notwithstanding.

I'll keep an eye out for her, okay? She might just need time, but I'll make sure she's safe.

Then he's lucky.
And if he hurts you I'll make his life hell. 😊

[holyposition]

If the library closing is the worst they have for us this month, I'll take it. Sorry.

Okay. Thank you.

[ An unwitting confirmation that Koby doesn't know the full extent of why she feels so wronged by this. If it were only awkwardness, if it were only scandal, then time would probably be enough. But lives hinge on his ability to keep tight-lipped. It's been that way since Aemond arrived and the secrets only pile higher. ]

I don't doubt it, Koby. This is good, though. And it's not like the last time I told you that, because it's actually happening, and I'm happy. It's complicated, but I can handle that.

[kobes]

A few months ago I would've argued, but after October and November...

I trust you. I trust that you mean it, that you know what you're doing. And that you'll say something if it gets too much.

That's okay too, Tim. If if becomes more than you can handle. You're not invincible.

[holyposition]

What do you mean, too much? He's intense, and their family is incredibly complicated, but he's just a man, Koby.

[kobes]

So are you. You're a man who feels things very deeply, even if you stand behind the choices you made. You can believe in what you've decided and still grieve what it's done.

And this is new, still, for you. Loving more than one person. It's not easy.

[holyposition]

I miss Alicent. But if she believes that I have to choose, I can't go back on it or feel sorry for myself.

Don't say love, he'll sense it in the wind somehow and get spooked

[kobes]

You can be sad about it, though. Even if you don't regret it or want to change your mind, you can be sad. I won't tell anyone.

Ahhhh, he's like that. That makes a lot of sense.

[holyposition]

Of course I am. I saved her from the wolf man, it was the first time I'd ever made a difference like that. We prayed together, confided things in each other. I protected her through the game, knowing that there were more likely targets I could be saving instead, and now she doesn't trust me because I'm giving Aemond the same care. It hurts. Obviously, it hurts.

If he goes home, he'll be paired for an alliance, not for love. And he's always known that. So he's never looked for it, never hoped for it. No point. I don't know if he can understand it as an option.

I'm not saying it's that. It's too early.

[kobes]

Right. Right, of course, I guess I'm asking
I'm asking if you're okay. I'm asking if you need to cry or yell or throw things about it, because I know you, and I know you're being strong for Aemond, and I'm proud of you for that. But I want to make sure you're taken care of too.

Maybe not right away. It takes a long, long time to trust that sort of thing, if you've never had it.

Affection, then. Attachment. Something.

[holyposition]

I am.
It sounds like I'm blowing you off, I'm not. But I've been spending a lot of time with him, figuring things out, and it's gonna be alright. I've got Hawk too. I have what I need to get through it.

But if you want to go to the wreck room, I'll come.

Both of those, yes. A lot of it.

[kobes]

And Hawk's been
Okay about it? I mean.
I know you were worried about that, before. Plus he's been sort of insatiable lately, you said.

Maybe, yeah. I get tired a lot easier these days. It's noisier. Especially when people are upset.
Breaking things might drown things out a little.

How long does it take for that to become love, I guess? When do you know?

[holyposition]

He has. He's a little confused still, I think, but he wasn't there when it started.
He hasn't settled down on that front at all, though. Do you think I should be worried? I've got to take rest days, I'm getting sore. I'm surprised he hasn't rubbed himself raw.

Call any time! It's kind of helpful.

I'm not the one to ask. With Hawk it was the first moment that he touched me. But I don't need to tell you that they're different.

[kobes]

Good. Confused is better than angry or resentful, I guess.
Maybe? You think he's maybe just trying to make up for lost time, or is it more than that?
That sounds tiring. Do you think that's why he wants to
You know. Watch us?

Ah. I've usually felt it pretty quickly, but I'm a little bit emotional anyways. I'm not sure if you've noticed.

[He's only cried every single day that you've known him.]

The first moment, really? That's very romantic.

[holyposition]

He was gone for a week, and he's been back for a month. It's not lost time anymore. I don't know what it is.
I think he's trying to try new things? I didn't ask why.

What?????? It slipped right by me 😮 😮

It was...immediately different from anyone else I'd been with. I knew he'd ruin my life before we even got our clothes off.
In a good way.
...usually.

[kobes]

Interesting. Do you think it's related? To him having been gone?
It'd be like this place to have some sort of long-term effects to make our lives more complicated.

Haha. Hilarious. You're a comedian, Tim.

Ah. That sounds [Familiar? Familiar.]
I'm glad it's usually good, at least.

[holyposition]

Maybe? Embry said he came back messed up, but wouldn't give me any specifics. And would probably lie about them, if he did.

Well, you know how he is. I love him. He's infuriating. That's Hawk.

[ If you are noticing a trend, no you're not. ]