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[kobes]

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koby



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[holyposition]

Acknowledging it doesn't make it disappear.

[kobes]

[A long, quiet pause -- it's harder like this, when Koby can't hide his facial expressions, his emotions, the way raw, aching fear flickers across his face when he looks up at Tim.]

How can you be sure?

[holyposition]

Calm down. He's gonna know if he looks up and you look like you've seen a ghost.

Sure about which part?

[kobes]

He's asleep, practically. [But Koby reaches out, smooths Quentin's hair back from his forehead a couple times, like soothing a fretful, restless cat, waiting until he stills completely. So subtle.]

Sure that it won't disappear.
Or sure that I
That. [He can't even write the word.]

[holyposition]

It's my experience that even if you want it to disappear, it won't.

The way you soothe him to sleep like that, first of all, not caring one bit that I'm looking. It's not the first time, or the second, or the third.

The way you look at him.

You can't stay away from each other. There's no other reason to spend so many nights over here.

[kobes]

I don't. But it

[Another pause, and Koby watches Quentin for a long, long moment before looking back at Tim. He looks -- hopeful and terrified at the same time.]

What do I do?
I don't know what to do. I've never
I mean only once and it did disappear.

[holyposition]

what do you mean when you say "disappear"?

[kobes]

It's not
Whatever he feels is fine, it's okay, I'm not going to
Demand anything.


But nobody stays.
Eventually everything good ends.
At least with Luffy I knew he was somewhere in the same world, which helped a little, even if I never saw him again.

[holyposition]

You don't know that. And even if it does, it doesn't mean it wasn't worth it. I don't regret Hawk.

You'll go to the same place when you're through here, I know it.

[kobes]

You don't?

[Another of those pauses, Koby's expression far away, watching Quentin sleep.]

I know you're right. I don't know what's going to happen next, anything is possible, I can't control it if it does. Usually I'm okay with that.

But [Looking back at Tim, meeting his gaze, speaking soft enough that it won't wake Quentin:] I'm scared.

[holyposition]

I regret a few specific choices I made. But no. I know what I want and what I don't want. That's valuable.

[ So easy to talk about it in the past tense when he's barely seen him for a couple weeks. Anyway, ]

Nothing about this place is under our control. That doesn't mean we should ignore its blessings. What are you afraid of?

[kobes]

I see. [Again, Koby being physically there means that he can't hide the flat, eyebrow-arching skepticism of his expression.]

I promised Quentin that if he ever left here, I'd find a way to go after him. I wouldn't let him be alone.
I'm afraid of not being able to keep that promise.

[holyposition]

[ Shut those eyebrows up Koby, this isn’t about him! ]

Maybe not immediately. I know you don’t believe the same things I do about what all this is, but I believe you will both end up in the same place, eventually.

[kobes]

[Eyebrows continue, he sees you deflecting, Timothy, but he has a sleepy Quentin on him so he isn't gonna push it.]

I don't, but I wish
Sometimes I wish I did.
That I didn't lie awake wondering about what might happen if we go back to our own times and worlds and just
Forget.



Don't tell him.
Please.

[holyposition]

Why would you forget?

I won't. That's not my place. But I could have this exact conversation with him, you know.

[kobes]

I've been reading, about people who get taken to other worlds.
Sometimes, if they go home, rhey forget.

[It takes another moment for the meaning of that statement to hit, but when it does, Koby looks -- comically stunned.]

What?
You mean
He
What??

[holyposition]

That can't happen.

[ It isn't an option, and he won't consider it, and if you make him, he'll throw up, and the commotion will wake Quentin. He looks nauseous. ]

I'm nearsighted, not blind.

[kobes]

[There's a glance upwards, over the tops of his glasses. Then:

You're probably right. I shouldn't get guidance from fairy tales at any rate.

Well, neither am I. What are you talking about?

[holyposition]

He's sweet to everyone, so it's not as obvious. But he's still here constantly. He looks at you like you're the most precious thing in the world.

[kobes]

[Oh god, he's red-faced again, but it's -- worse now. Here come the rationalizations:]

He IS sweet to everyone, that's just how he is.
And he's here because I have nightmares when I sleep alone and I told him about them and
It helps. That's all.

[Because that's...less gay, somehow?]

And he looks at sunrises and the lake and breakfast and the microwave like that it's not
He's just
I'm not


I'm me. I know what I am. I'm just me.

[holyposition]

I've been here for two weeks. He knows you're not alone, he comes anyway.

I think he likes you better than the microwave, Koby.

[kobes]

Well, that could mean anything.

Okay, yes, better than the microwave, obviously, but
That doesn't mean he

I mean, I don't doubt he's very fond of me and has been a very encouraging emotional support and maybe I've done something similar, I don't know?
I don't know.

[holyposition]

It means he's doing it because he wants to.

I know it's overwhelming. And probably unusual, for you sailors.

[kobes]

Well. That's

[Putting down his phone for a moment, crossing his arms and scowling over at Tim. In a stage whisper:] What's your point?

[holyposition]

Nothing.

[ Barely above just mouthing it. ]

Just that you move around a lot. "Someone in every port," you know.

Do you want me to back off? I didn't realize I'd be interrupting a honeymoon.