I see. [Again, Koby being physically there means that he can't hide the flat, eyebrow-arching skepticism of his expression.]
I promised Quentin that if he ever left here, I'd find a way to go after him. I wouldn't let him be alone. I'm afraid of not being able to keep that promise.
[ Shut those eyebrows up Koby, this isn’t about him! ]
Maybe not immediately. I know you don’t believe the same things I do about what all this is, but I believe you will both end up in the same place, eventually.
[Eyebrows continue, he sees you deflecting, Timothy, but he has a sleepy Quentin on him so he isn't gonna push it.]
I don't, but I wish Sometimes I wish I did. That I didn't lie awake wondering about what might happen if we go back to our own times and worlds and just Forget.
[Oh god, he's red-faced again, but it's -- worse now. Here come the rationalizations:]
He IS sweet to everyone, that's just how he is. And he's here because I have nightmares when I sleep alone and I told him about them and It helps. That's all.
[Because that's...less gay, somehow?]
And he looks at sunrises and the lake and breakfast and the microwave like that it's not He's just I'm not
Okay, yes, better than the microwave, obviously, but That doesn't mean he
I mean, I don't doubt he's very fond of me and has been a very encouraging emotional support and maybe I've done something similar, I don't know? I don't know.
Just the every port thing. The rest of it is completely true 😊
That’s how it’s always been for me.
[ they both know damn good and well Tim’s only ever been serious about one person, but that's not the point. ]
I felt bad just texting with Quentin, when I was with Hawk. For a minute, I thought that was why he was leaving. “Room for other people” isn’t done, where we’re from.
[Have a scowl, Tim, and a meaningful look at one of the nearby decorative pillows.]
I know it isn't. We're from very different times.
Did you really? Is that what he said?
If what you're saying Quentin feels is true -- and I'm not saying it is, so stop smiling -- then him enjoying himself with other people isn't going to change that. Because it hasn't, yet.
People are complex enough to feel multiple ways about multiple people I think.
No, he didn’t, but his explanation didn’t make any sense, so i thought it was something I’d done. It wasn’t. I was just scared.
Won’t it? You can have all the love in the world in your heart, but only so much time and energy. If it were me, I’d want to give my partner all of it.
Of course it wasn't anything you did. It's something he has to sort out in his own head. You didn't do anything wrong.
[Meet him in the pit, Hawk, etc etc.]
Well, I know for a fact that you have plenty of energy, Tim. But if that's what you want, that's fine too. I'm still figuring out what I want, but I think
I think it's more like a crew. There's a captain, of course, and a first mate and that relationship is special, but it doesn't make the rest of the crew less part of it. If that makes sense?
That's not completely true. I said some things I shouldn't have.
I understand what you're saying. I don't know if it's a perfect metaphor (what am I, a lieutenant?) but I get it.
Just let me know if you start to feel differently, okay? Quentin's charming and handsome and all of that, but you're my best friend here. I don't want to do anything that would hurt you.
[ Koby, please. Who else would be—he's been hiding out here for the last two weeks, be serious. Tim smiles warmly at him, and then, after a moment of fishing around in his lap for his bookmark, gets up to join the other two on the bed, carefully scooching in on Koby’s other side. ]
Yes, obviously. [ Speaking softly and ruffling Koby’s hair. On second thought, Tim puts an arm around him, pulling him in for a half-hug, as much as he can do without jostling sleeping beauty. ] You think I would stay involved in... [ a vague gesture. whatever this is. ] otherwise? You know I take it seriously. I’m not saying you don’t, just that if you weren’t that important to me, I wouldn’t let you watch while I blow your boyfriend.
no subject
[ So easy to talk about it in the past tense when he's barely seen him for a couple weeks. Anyway, ]
Nothing about this place is under our control. That doesn't mean we should ignore its blessings. What are you afraid of?
no subject
I promised Quentin that if he ever left here, I'd find a way to go after him. I wouldn't let him be alone.
I'm afraid of not being able to keep that promise.
no subject
Maybe not immediately. I know you don’t believe the same things I do about what all this is, but I believe you will both end up in the same place, eventually.
no subject
I don't, but I wish
Sometimes I wish I did.
That I didn't lie awake wondering about what might happen if we go back to our own times and worlds and just
Forget.
Don't tell him.
Please.
no subject
I won't. That's not my place. But I could have this exact conversation with him, you know.
no subject
Sometimes, if they go home, rhey forget.
[It takes another moment for the meaning of that statement to hit, but when it does, Koby looks -- comically stunned.]
What?
You mean
He
What??
no subject
[ It isn't an option, and he won't consider it, and if you make him, he'll throw up, and the commotion will wake Quentin. He looks nauseous. ]
I'm nearsighted, not blind.
no subject
You're probably right. I shouldn't get guidance from fairy tales at any rate.
Well, neither am I. What are you talking about?
no subject
no subject
He IS sweet to everyone, that's just how he is.
And he's here because I have nightmares when I sleep alone and I told him about them and
It helps. That's all.
[Because that's...less gay, somehow?]
And he looks at sunrises and the lake and breakfast and the microwave like that it's not
He's just
I'm not
I'm me. I know what I am. I'm just me.
no subject
I think he likes you better than the microwave, Koby.
no subject
Okay, yes, better than the microwave, obviously, but
That doesn't mean he
I mean, I don't doubt he's very fond of me and has been a very encouraging emotional support and maybe I've done something similar, I don't know?
I don't know.
no subject
I know it's overwhelming. And probably unusual, for you sailors.
no subject
[Putting down his phone for a moment, crossing his arms and scowling over at Tim. In a stage whisper:] What's your point?
no subject
[ Barely above just mouthing it. ]
Just that you move around a lot. "Someone in every port," you know.
Do you want me to back off? I didn't realize I'd be interrupting a honeymoon.
no subject
That's for sailors and pirates and privateers. Marines aren't supposed to have any of that. Bad for the image.
You aren't interrupting anything, stop that.
no subject
But I mean it, Koby. If you want it to be serious, I can figure something else out, it's a big house.
no subject
You ARE.
When Quentin wakes up I'm throwing this pillow at you.
Do you think "serious" means "no room for anyone else"?
no subject
That’s how it’s always been for me.
[ they both know damn good and well Tim’s only ever been serious about one person, but that's not the point. ]
I felt bad just texting with Quentin, when I was with Hawk. For a minute, I thought that was why he was leaving. “Room for other people” isn’t done, where we’re from.
no subject
I know it isn't. We're from very different times.
Did you really? Is that what he said?
If what you're saying Quentin feels is true -- and I'm not saying it is, so stop smiling -- then him enjoying himself with other people isn't going to change that. Because it hasn't, yet.
People are complex enough to feel multiple ways about multiple people I think.
no subject
Won’t it? You can have all the love in the world in your heart, but only so much time and energy. If it were me, I’d want to give my partner all of it.
no subject
[Meet him in the pit, Hawk, etc etc.]
Well, I know for a fact that you have plenty of energy, Tim.
But if that's what you want, that's fine too. I'm still figuring out what I want, but I think
I think it's more like a crew. There's a captain, of course, and a first mate and that relationship is special, but it doesn't make the rest of the crew less part of it. If that makes sense?
no subject
I understand what you're saying. I don't know if it's a perfect metaphor (what am I, a lieutenant?) but I get it.
Just let me know if you start to feel differently, okay? Quentin's charming and handsome and all of that, but you're my best friend here. I don't want to do anything that would hurt you.
no subject
Lieutenant works. Don't tell Quentin, he'll start calling you Lieutenant Sweets or something.
I'm your best friend? Really? [Yes the rest of it is important, but this is the part that has Koby looking up, eyes immediately welling up.]
no subject
Yes, obviously. [ Speaking softly and ruffling Koby’s hair. On second thought, Tim puts an arm around him, pulling him in for a half-hug, as much as he can do without jostling sleeping beauty. ] You think I would stay involved in... [ a vague gesture. whatever this is. ] otherwise? You know I take it seriously. I’m not saying you don’t, just that if you weren’t that important to me, I wouldn’t let you watch while I blow your boyfriend.
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)