[She sits with the question for a while. It's such a simple question, but it feels... silly, almost, to try and talk about it.]
Is it
Fun? Nice?
This places seems to push about it, a lot. It seems you can't go anywhere with having it pushed in your face. I never tried to think about it before. Just that it was dirty and bad and all those sorts of things. Something to do when you're married and never before and you aren't supposed to enjoy it or something's wrong with you.
[not that any of this had been told directly to her face, but it was the general attitude of shame and everything being hushed up, off-hand comments overheard by other adults, etc. It all built up to an image that it was Bad And Wrong]
But here it's clearly not that. No one else seems to be really bothered by it. I'm wondering if I'm just being silly, holding on to something I shouldn't be?
[Oh dear, maybe this would've been better in person. But Jennifer is important, and Koby cares a lot about her, so he musters up his courage to get over his awkwardness (while also wondering how he became the One Who Has Sex in the friend group.]
It can be fun and nice, yes. When it's with someone who wants to make sure it's fun and nice for you. I can't speak to everyone here and say that they're all that way, but I've been very fortunate. I've met a lot of people who are wonderful and who know what they're doing, which helps.
I was always told it was something I'd need to do, whenever I got married off, or if I ended up working for a certain kind of noble. That it'd be painful at worst and boring at best. But that's not true.
I think maybe you were told some of the same lies I was, Jennifer. And I won't say that you're silly or wrong to be cautious, because if you're not ready, you don't need to be, but I can promise you: those were lies. They were all lies.
Adults always lie. I should've come to that realization earlier, on my own. I guess I needed someone else to confirm it. I thought it had to be boring or painful, that people only insisted on it for children. I never knew what I thought about that. I guess I knew I'd have to, eventually. I don't know.
This seems about as good a place as I could get to try
That's what it feels like, yeah. It's I have a body, and it's fine, it's better than it was, but I don't know it, yet. It doesn't quite feel like mine? I mean, the fact that everyone sees me as myself is nice, but
When it's good, when it feels like it should, it's like feeling okay having a body. For me, at least.
Nami usually has good advice, yes. She might be able to help. And I have some, um
Things. Just in case. I don't know if you like men or But there are some Risks.
[He's dying even bringing this up, but he cares about her well-being, okay!!]
I think I understand that. It'd be nice to be, well. Me, I guess.
[. . .]
Things?
And, I suppose I haven't thought about that much either. I suppose I like men too? I know I like other women, but I think it's another thing I haven't put much thought into.
[But she thinks for a long moment on what these 'things' might be. But she can connect why men would be brought up and connect the dots. She turns bright red]
Is that...a concern here? I didn't think it could. [It hadn't seemed like a problem with the Witches and she hadn't thought the rules might change]
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text (omg yessss)
I'm just in the library.
Are you all right? Is everything okay?
[IMMEDIATELY protective.]
1/3
Nervous. I suppose.
I didn’t know who else to talk to about these things and you’re my closest friend.
[She starts and stops several sentences before she just ends up with:]
Do you know about sex?
2/3
no subject
I thought this would be easier in text.
I know this is terribly personal. I’m sorry. Have you had it?
no subject
Those are two very different questions. But: yes, I know about it and yes, I've had it.
Why?
no subject
Is it
Fun? Nice?
This places seems to push about it, a lot. It seems you can't go anywhere with having it pushed in your face. I never tried to think about it before. Just that it was dirty and bad and all those sorts of things. Something to do when you're married and never before and you aren't supposed to enjoy it or something's wrong with you.
[not that any of this had been told directly to her face, but it was the general attitude of shame and everything being hushed up, off-hand comments overheard by other adults, etc. It all built up to an image that it was Bad And Wrong]
But here it's clearly not that. No one else seems to be really bothered by it. I'm wondering if I'm just being silly, holding on to something I shouldn't be?
no subject
It can be fun and nice, yes. When it's with someone who wants to make sure it's fun and nice for you. I can't speak to everyone here and say that they're all that way, but
I've been very fortunate. I've met a lot of people who are wonderful and who know what they're doing, which helps.
I was always told it was something I'd need to do, whenever I got married off, or if I ended up working for a certain kind of noble. That it'd be painful at worst and boring at best. But that's not true.
I think maybe you were told some of the same lies I was, Jennifer. And I won't say that you're silly or wrong to be cautious, because if you're not ready, you don't need to be, but I can promise you: those were lies. They were all lies.
no subject
I knew that. I know I did.
Adults always lie. I should've come to that realization earlier, on my own. I guess I needed someone else to confirm it. I thought it had to be boring or painful, that people only insisted on it for children. I never knew what I thought about that. I guess I knew I'd have to, eventually. I don't know.
This seems about as good a place as I could get to try
something. I guess.
no subject
You're here now and you're free and you can do anything you want. And it's
When it's good, it's like nothing else in the world.
I didn't know anything could feel so good. That I could want to be inside my own body again.
I'm sorry, that's
Probably too much information.
no subject
I feel like I spend too much time not even thinking about my body. I just... exist? I don't know how to explain it.
Maybe I should ask Miss Nami for help? She's always seemed so confident in herself, as a woman.
no subject
I have a body, and it's fine, it's better than it was, but I don't know it, yet. It doesn't quite feel like mine?
I mean, the fact that everyone sees me as myself is nice, but
When it's good, when it feels like it should, it's like feeling okay having a body. For me, at least.
Nami usually has good advice, yes. She might be able to help.
And I have some, um
Things. Just in case.
I don't know if you like men or
But there are some
Risks.
[He's dying even bringing this up, but he cares about her well-being, okay!!]
no subject
[. . .]
Things?
And, I suppose I haven't thought about that much either. I suppose I like men too? I know I like other women, but I think it's another thing I haven't put much thought into.
[But she thinks for a long moment on what these 'things' might be. But she can connect why men would be brought up and connect the dots. She turns bright red]
Is that...a concern here? I didn't think it could. [It hadn't seemed like a problem with the Witches and she hadn't thought the rules might change]
no subject
I didn't think it was an issue either, but um
Certain cyclical, monthly things have resumed, since being here.
Unfortunately.
Which suggests other things are possible.
no subject
[She had noticed such a thing, which raises some new questions about this place and its motivations]
It's so strange. This place seems to have power over so much, but not that? I'm a little worried about what this play intends for us.
But thank you. I'll take them. I don't know what I'd do without you, Koby. I'm sorry if I'm relying on you too much.
no subject
Better safe than sorry, right?
You aren't relying on me too much, at all. I like being able to help, remember? It's sort of my thing.