june '25 au | fuckboyby

[kobes]

jakob "koby" alvida

obnoxious shitstirrer envoy from an old friend

The invitation for a summer visit was extended to Jonty's old college friend, Ms. Alvida, of Alvida enterprises -- a string of nightclubs, hotels and resorts along the coast, as well as some rumored less-above-board investments -- but unfortunately she wasn't able to attend. She sent her protegee and ward Jakob ("call me Koby, please") instead, ostensibly to enjoy a month of rest and relaxation. However, Koby's been told in no uncertain terms: solidify the Balfour's commitment to investing in Alvida's business ventures, by any means necessary.

Or don't bother coming back.



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BACKSTORY:




Grew up as [redacted] Smith, an orphan bouncing around the foster care system in the Pacific Northwest, making a good faith effort to be good and hopefully find a permanent placement. What he found instead was Alvida -- attempting to reform some of her public image by taking in a foster kid. Koby is cagey about his teenage years, wherein he was formally adopted, changed his name and had the beginnings of his transition funded by Alvida, a fact she insistently brought up in the media for years afterwards. It's never been reported on what she demanded of him in return.

Those in the know are aware -- Koby shows up when a situation needs finessing, when Alvida's abrasive attitude won't do and a softer touch is needed. People are less likely to shoot the messenger when he's a sweet-faced, doe-eyed, earnest young thing bearing gifts -- money, drugs, favors, himself -- whatever is needed to solidify a deal. Periodically he'll show up when the situation is beyond fixing, too, making sure that things are cleaned up to Ms. Alvida's standards, and bringing the word back to her if it isn't. Nobody likes being on Alvida's bad side, therefore they do their best to stay on Koby's good side as well -- he's never wanting for anything, the most cutting-edge fashion, the best quality of liquor and drugs, the hottest men in his bed.

And he loves it, obviously. He'd be stupid not to. And Koby knows better, by now, than to be stupid.






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RUMORS:




Always the first to leave in the morning, no matter what -- once a man set an alarm for 2am to try and catch Koby leaving. He woke up at 11am to a pounding headache and a broken phone.


Has a stick-and-poke tattoo of the initials "MDL" on his hip, that he gave himself. Theories range as to who it refers to.


The tongue piercing was from a girl he used to know, in "a similar place". He refuses to elaborate further. It's the only piercing he never takes out.


Calls Alvida "Captain", not "mom". Always has.


To toughen him up, Alvida had him watch and clean up after the more brutal information-gathering sessions for six months. He was 13. Consequently: the first time Koby had to "take care of" someone, he didn't flinch. He was still 13.


People say the pink hair is maintained by a secret team of hairstylists, who dye all the hair on Koby's body to match. But some just say the carpet matches the drapes naturally.


Expert at tying knots -- when asked, he'll say he took a course on shibari in high school for fun. (Sometimes bodies wash up with artfully-tied bindings and nobody says anything -- but they know who's responsible.)


Spring break senior year, he made it a goal to get laid in every room of every hotel Alvida owns, and achieved that before the week was over. His favorites were the ones with ocean views.


Anora Mikheeva stayed at one of the hotels once, with her latest fiancé. Some saw her and Koby meet up in the hotel bar, exchange a whispered conversation, then leave together. She broke up with her new fiancé via tweet the next morning. It's one of the few retweets Koby's made.


Multiple girls have said that someone messed with their drinks at an Alvida-owned nightclub, but they all woke up alone in locked hotel rooms with their stays comped. The only thing they can remember is puking and someone holding back their hair and rubbing their back.


He has four or five therapists at any given time. Only one (Dr. Graham) hasn't quit after a month of visits, breaking the previously held record of two weeks. Some people say it's because Koby seduced him, some say it's because Koby blackmailed him. Some say both.


Signed up for the Marines when he was 17. Alvida refused to let him go, leading to the first screaming, throwing-things fight since Koby was a pre-teen. He burned the application in the garden and told everyone it was a joke.


Never officially dating anyone -- publicly says he's saving himself for marriage, and anyone he dates has to be Captain-approved, anyway.


Met "Shanks" at a benefit concert to celebrate his engagement to Greer Galloway. They made eye contact once and were never publicly seen together, but both disappeared midway through the performance. Shanks reappeared, composed and calm and finished the concert. Koby left via taxi in Shank's coat.


Only men Koby's "vetted" (read: slept with) are allowed into Alvida's inner circle. Sources say it's because she knows exactly how to keep them loyal.


Had a torrid Myspace affair with a man who's screenname is "sweetwilliam123", who sent him thirty-six poems over the course of three weeks. Koby printed them all out, sent him one mildly risque picture, then blocked him.





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IMPORTANT CONNECTIONS:




Shanks: sugar daddy/situationship, a+ on the dick scale
Tim: bitch bff
Nami: ex-bestie (too good for him now 😒)
Dr. Will Graham: therapist
NAME:




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OTHER NOTES:




Cuts his own hair; the mullet fauxhawk is new.


Has multiple piercings (ears, tongue, septum, navel) and even more than have closed up (eyebrow, nipples, smiley)


Came up with the nickname because "Jakob" is too pretentious.


Loves animals and flowers.




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VISUALS:


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