[koby's quiet for a moment, because her grief is private, even though he can feel it radiating through her like charting a course through familiar waters -- alicent has been alight with pain like old bruises since he met her.
but: he can feel it. he can feel it and he loves her, and that is enough to prompt that unseen reach, that sense of something warm and adoring and grieving as well, grieving for her pain, if not for aegon, brushing against the old-bruise pain of alicent's mind. it settles there, like a blanket, like an embrace, like a hand on her arm, squeezing lightly.]
[ it’s a strange sensation, though not an unwelcome one. so few have ever offered her comfort. in her moment of greatest pain, her father reminded her i do not wish to hear of it.
she lingers in it, savouring the warmth — wiping her tears with the back of her hand. ]
You’re a sweet boy, Koby. I’m glad to have you in these troubled times.
[when she doesn't recoil, doesn't withdraw from that small nudge of warmth, koby doesn't hold back either. the flicker builds, builds, becomes as fervent and bright as a ray of sun, less a hand on her arm and more an embrace -- but bigger, stronger, more encompassing. it's every embrace she's ever been denied, every comfort from father or mother, every hand that stilled silent instead of raising to smooth away her tears, to stroke her hair, to wrap around her and give her a safe place to crumble. it's an embrace given by someone who knows the hurt of such comfort being denied.
for an instant that ray of light is a thousand suns, is as bright as dragonfire, strong enough, that the windows around alicent shudder a little with the force of it, the lights burn a bit brighter, the air is warm and protective and thick with a power that koby himself doesn't quite know he possesses. and then it ebbs away, draining like water out of cupped palms.]
I'll be here, if you need me. No matter how troubled the times. If there's any other way I can help, please don't hesitate, okay?
[ there’s the hurt of such comfort having been died and ache of being given it now, as though it were this simple, this easy, the entire time. why deny her? it did not make her or aemond or aegon stronger, to go without comfort and tenderness.
alicent digs her nails into the soft skin of her forearm. punishing. grounding. in the midst of a lightness that threatens to carry her away from this place — into the fantasy of another, kinder life.
not for the first time, koby’s power awes her, a variant on the capacity for prophecy her daughter possesses. wonders contained in human flesh. and burdens, too. despite her self-inflicted wounds, she reaches for it, hungry as she’s ever been, and feels it slip through her fingers when koby retreats. ]
Of course, Koby. You know where to find me, if I can ever repay your kindnesses.
[if koby feels that bite of pain, he doesn't mention it, doesn't begrudge or scold her for it -- there are places in his palms that know the bite of nails clenched into fists and he's bitten the inside of his mouth bloody before, keeping things locked down inside. alicent will not allow herself to slip, to crumble, not with her other son and daughter here. she is needed, like koby is.
he leaves her with that press of warmth, of fondness, of love without reservations, without caveats. he hopes she'll remember it, the next pain that wracks them both.]
You already have, many times. But of course, I will. I'm glad you have Homelander, if I haven't mentioned it before. I saw how much he cared, during February.
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but: he can feel it. he can feel it and he loves her, and that is enough to prompt that unseen reach, that sense of something warm and adoring and grieving as well, grieving for her pain, if not for aegon, brushing against the old-bruise pain of alicent's mind. it settles there, like a blanket, like an embrace, like a hand on her arm, squeezing lightly.]
I'm so, so sorry.
no subject
she lingers in it, savouring the warmth — wiping her tears with the back of her hand. ]
You’re a sweet boy, Koby.
I’m glad to have you in these troubled times.
no subject
for an instant that ray of light is a thousand suns, is as bright as dragonfire, strong enough, that the windows around alicent shudder a little with the force of it, the lights burn a bit brighter, the air is warm and protective and thick with a power that koby himself doesn't quite know he possesses. and then it ebbs away, draining like water out of cupped palms.]
I'll be here, if you need me. No matter how troubled the times. If there's any other way I can help, please don't hesitate, okay?
cw self harm
alicent digs her nails into the soft skin of her forearm. punishing. grounding. in the midst of a lightness that threatens to carry her away from this place — into the fantasy of another, kinder life.
not for the first time, koby’s power awes her, a variant on the capacity for prophecy her daughter possesses. wonders contained in human flesh. and burdens, too. despite her self-inflicted wounds, she reaches for it, hungry as she’s ever been, and feels it slip through her fingers when koby retreats. ]
Of course, Koby.
You know where to find me, if I can ever repay your kindnesses.
no subject
he leaves her with that press of warmth, of fondness, of love without reservations, without caveats. he hopes she'll remember it, the next pain that wracks them both.]
You already have, many times. But of course, I will.
I'm glad you have Homelander, if I haven't mentioned it before. I saw how much he cared, during February.
no subject
[ not because she doubted him, of course, but because others found her unconvincing. ]
I tire of fighting, Koby. I want only for us all to be well. That is to say, I’m glad to have you both with me, in striving for peace.
[ not merely among her family but the wider residents. ]