[The careful, wistful brush of Koby's consciousness immediately pitches upwards, warm eager excitement, a kid straining and raising their hand in class (in a crowd of cuter, prettier, smarter, nicer girls, looked over by discerning eyes, biting his lip and squaring his shoulders and thinking, thinking, me, me, pick me, pick me, please pick me). He'll get better at controlling his emotions later, as he grows, as he learns, but right now they bleed from him like a wound in water, helpless and free-flowing to anyone who can see it.]
I'd like that. Yeah. [The juxtaposition of the casual text and the open-hearted longing of emotion is a touch absurd, and Koby will perhaps feel embarrassed about it later. But also: it's Louis. Louis is safe. Louis won't laugh at him for being so hopelessly desperate for attention, for validation. Right?]
[ there's little time between the agreement and louis' arrival to koby's door where he gives a knock on it. he's dressed a little more casually than he might normally be, but it doesn't seem to bother him. in fact, the moment koby opens the door? louis steps forward and wraps the boy into a tight and lingering hug.
sorry koby, you don't get a choice.
he presses his chin to the top of the boy's head. ]
[Koby's done a fairly good job of keeping himself together around people, since returning. Some mistiness, maybe a little sniffling, perhaps a moment or two where he'd had to wipe tears off his glasses while laughing self-deprecatingly.
But Louis shows up at his suite, reaching out and tugging him close like it's the most natural thing in the world, and Koby surprises himself at how everything carefully-stacked and controlled falls to pieces in an instant. He's clinging onto Louis before he can stop himself, breath hitching tight in his throat, face hidden against the man's shoulder.]
Y-Yeah. [It's weepy, it's teary, it's relieved. It's the bone-deep knowledge that he's safe now, that he can let go and fall apart a little, that Louis won't let anything in this world or any other hurt him.] Hi.
[ not that koby is a kid really, but isn't anyone a kid to a centuries old vampire? so he allows the pressure of koby at his front, rubs at his back and smiles against his hair. even his own eyes get a little misty, and his free hand reaches for the back of koby's head, cradling it there. ]
Everything's alright. I got you.
[ a beat, then: ] You get taller while you were away? [ a small stab at a joke, but it's been a while since he's hugged koby and he can definitely feel a change. ]
[Koby hasn’t been a kid in years – maybe since before he can remember, since he was old enough to understand that some people were born loved and wanted and protected, and some weren’t, that you were either small and safe, small and quiet or small and dead, and since he’d never be safe, he’d have to learn to be quiet instead. Learn to yes, ma’am and no, sir and right away, captain, anything you say, anything you tell me, no matter how humiliating, no matter how painful, whatever you say.
The kind of safety Louis gives him now, arms around him, hand petting lightly at the back of his tousled hair – it’s not anything Koby has let himself want, not in a long, long time. He’d almost convinced himself it wasn’t something he needed, not really, not mostly-grown and wiser than many his age. Adults didn’t need a parent to hold them after a bad dream, after a long illness, after a broken heart. He didn’t really need to be comforted, to be held and kept safe, right?
And yet. And yet Koby curls into the embrace like he’s been searching for it all his life. He inhales the scent of Louis’s sweater, locks it into his mind, curls both hands into the loose, soft knit fabric and clings on as tight as he can. Vaguely, he’s aware he’s trembling. Distantly, he might be tearing up, too.
The gentle joke gets a watery laugh, though Koby doesn’t move an inch from where he is. Not until Louis lets go.] Don’t think I did. Maybe you shrunk?
[ there's a little laugh against the soft flop of pink hair and he squeezes him a little tighter. he can feel the difference in koby - something hazy and blushy and warm around him. the very same energy he felt pressing against his mind before. it's gentle the way his mind nudges against koby's. not peering in, just a gentle knocking - like tucking a blanket over someone after they've fallen asleep. ]
Not had enough of you knocking on my door to get me up. Spent all my time hunched over in a chair, reading, sleeping.
[ a small joke and he sighs, rubbing koby's back softly, not releasing him from the hug just yet. ]
I'm glad you're alright. I felt it, when it happened to you.
[The laugh makes something twist in Koby's chest, with the sudden awareness that this is another connection he'd fear losing, one unlike any other in the house, unlike anything Koby's ever really had before. Louis had been missed during the week, just as much as Quentin or Nami or Tim or anyone else had been.
So Koby lets himself burrow into the broad shoulder he's already soaked with tears, welcomes in the soft thrum of his aura, green and deep and rich like the earth buried beneath the snow, like the rustling leaves of the trees Louis has told him about, the moss that drips from them like veils. He hitches on another sob, shoulders going slack as he gives himself over to the pain, the horror of the last week. The soft blush of his thoughts slips into that for a moment, an echoing ripple of the shattering agony in that first moment, the disorientation, the way he'd thought himself in the Marine barracks, the village, the damp, stinking hold of a ship. Always the hold, at the core of everything, the rotten terror that made up his bones.
But it doesn't stay for more than an instant, banished by the steady, protective movement of Louis's hand up and down the length of Koby's shivering spine, again and again. It's gone, it's done, it can't reach him here. Nothing could, nothing would even get close with Louis here. That conviction settles, warm and comforting and banishing the tremble from his limbs.
Soft, gently concerned:] You did? I'm sorry, I didn't even think -- it didn't hurt you, did it?
No, doesn't hurt. Just felt you - told Shanks to tell me if either of you needed anything.
[ which it had been a miracle that they hadn't fought it out, anyway, after werewolf. things have never been easy with them since then, but he can't blame him. not after nami, not after all the killing.
louis gives koby a soft squeeze and lets him get the tears and feelings out, bumping his mind against koby's warmly once the worst of it passes. he pulls away from the hug, hands steadying on the younger man's shoulders and ducking his head, peering at him. ]
You keep that chin up, you got it? Now dry your face off and let's get to that walk. Get you to my rooms and you can pick from the books there. Admit I've probably held on to a few too many at this point.
[ he reaches to wipe a tear away himself, even ruffle koby's hair sweetly. ]
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I'd like that. Yeah. [The juxtaposition of the casual text and the open-hearted longing of emotion is a touch absurd, and Koby will perhaps feel embarrassed about it later. But also: it's Louis. Louis is safe. Louis won't laugh at him for being so hopelessly desperate for attention, for validation. Right?]
no subject
sorry koby, you don't get a choice.
he presses his chin to the top of the boy's head. ]
Long time no see.
no subject
But Louis shows up at his suite, reaching out and tugging him close like it's the most natural thing in the world, and Koby surprises himself at how everything carefully-stacked and controlled falls to pieces in an instant. He's clinging onto Louis before he can stop himself, breath hitching tight in his throat, face hidden against the man's shoulder.]
Y-Yeah. [It's weepy, it's teary, it's relieved. It's the bone-deep knowledge that he's safe now, that he can let go and fall apart a little, that Louis won't let anything in this world or any other hurt him.] Hi.
no subject
[ not that koby is a kid really, but isn't anyone a kid to a centuries old vampire? so he allows the pressure of koby at his front, rubs at his back and smiles against his hair. even his own eyes get a little misty, and his free hand reaches for the back of koby's head, cradling it there. ]
Everything's alright. I got you.
[ a beat, then: ] You get taller while you were away? [ a small stab at a joke, but it's been a while since he's hugged koby and he can definitely feel a change. ]
no subject
The kind of safety Louis gives him now, arms around him, hand petting lightly at the back of his tousled hair – it’s not anything Koby has let himself want, not in a long, long time. He’d almost convinced himself it wasn’t something he needed, not really, not mostly-grown and wiser than many his age. Adults didn’t need a parent to hold them after a bad dream, after a long illness, after a broken heart. He didn’t really need to be comforted, to be held and kept safe, right?
And yet. And yet Koby curls into the embrace like he’s been searching for it all his life. He inhales the scent of Louis’s sweater, locks it into his mind, curls both hands into the loose, soft knit fabric and clings on as tight as he can. Vaguely, he’s aware he’s trembling. Distantly, he might be tearing up, too.
The gentle joke gets a watery laugh, though Koby doesn’t move an inch from where he is. Not until Louis lets go.] Don’t think I did. Maybe you shrunk?
no subject
[ there's a little laugh against the soft flop of pink hair and he squeezes him a little tighter. he can feel the difference in koby - something hazy and blushy and warm around him. the very same energy he felt pressing against his mind before. it's gentle the way his mind nudges against koby's. not peering in, just a gentle knocking - like tucking a blanket over someone after they've fallen asleep. ]
Not had enough of you knocking on my door to get me up. Spent all my time hunched over in a chair, reading, sleeping.
[ a small joke and he sighs, rubbing koby's back softly, not releasing him from the hug just yet. ]
I'm glad you're alright. I felt it, when it happened to you.
no subject
So Koby lets himself burrow into the broad shoulder he's already soaked with tears, welcomes in the soft thrum of his aura, green and deep and rich like the earth buried beneath the snow, like the rustling leaves of the trees Louis has told him about, the moss that drips from them like veils. He hitches on another sob, shoulders going slack as he gives himself over to the pain, the horror of the last week. The soft blush of his thoughts slips into that for a moment, an echoing ripple of the shattering agony in that first moment, the disorientation, the way he'd thought himself in the Marine barracks, the village, the damp, stinking hold of a ship. Always the hold, at the core of everything, the rotten terror that made up his bones.
But it doesn't stay for more than an instant, banished by the steady, protective movement of Louis's hand up and down the length of Koby's shivering spine, again and again. It's gone, it's done, it can't reach him here. Nothing could, nothing would even get close with Louis here. That conviction settles, warm and comforting and banishing the tremble from his limbs.
Soft, gently concerned:] You did? I'm sorry, I didn't even think -- it didn't hurt you, did it?
no subject
[ which it had been a miracle that they hadn't fought it out, anyway, after werewolf. things have never been easy with them since then, but he can't blame him. not after nami, not after all the killing.
louis gives koby a soft squeeze and lets him get the tears and feelings out, bumping his mind against koby's warmly once the worst of it passes. he pulls away from the hug, hands steadying on the younger man's shoulders and ducking his head, peering at him. ]
You keep that chin up, you got it? Now dry your face off and let's get to that walk. Get you to my rooms and you can pick from the books there. Admit I've probably held on to a few too many at this point.
[ he reaches to wipe a tear away himself, even ruffle koby's hair sweetly. ]