[It takes a couple hours, and it hurts to focus, but Koby's almost as senseless from being away from Quentin as he is from the pain, so he begs five minutes, just five, please. The lucid periods are longer now, the weight of feeling so much abating to something bearable, and he can focus better.
Still, the words take a while to form:]
i miss you i love you are you okay
[I'm sorry, right there, remembering the horror, the bloody pain of their last meeting. Sorry for putting that stricken, haunted look on Quentin's face, for recoiling from him, for falling to pieces before him. Sorry for leaving him, even temporarily, without even being able to articulate what was happening. For all of it.]
I'm fine. Everyone out here is fine. Put the phone down and rest your eyes, love.
[ i'm sorry is right there for him, too. for failing him, for not seeing he needed help, for not knowing how to fix it and make it right. for hurting him. ]
Rest. Focus on Shanks. He needs you as much as you need him. Take care of him for me, too.
[ because anyone who loves koby so well is worthy of quentin's love, too. ]
[It's hard. It's hard and it hurts, but he has to read and reread the words. The urge is there to reach out with all this fraught, painful, wonderful power he has, but Shanks's teaching has been gentle, but firm: don't. Opening that door now could hurt worse, could cause something irrevocable. Already the residual input Koby's trying to sort through has him slipping, thinking it's July again, or winter in the village, or spring on Alvida's ship, or some combination thereof. He forgets, he remembers, he forgets again, he remembers, and so on and so forth.
But this, a tether: I love you too. Still true, still undoubtable. Koby can nearly hear it in his ears, in the throbbing ache along his spine.]
getting easier i'll see you soon you can help me take care of him
[And vice-versa, every fussy, affectionate, fretting habit put on hold: has Quentin eaten, has he slept, is he taking care of himself, is he alone. The habit's one that's extended to Shanks as well, and Koby wants, suddenly, fervently, to have them both right there, the only two who saw him in that awful, anguished state, more vulnerable and helpless and terrified than he's ever been. He wants to make it right, make it safe again, show these two self-sacrificing, devoted, achingly similar sailors he's okay because of them.]
[ so many questions. he wants to ask when he's going to be better, when he's going to return, if he will come home to him, if he was the one that hurt him in the first place, if that love between them is waning because of this magic.
there's just too much he doesn't understand, but every pull of his own magic points toward koby. the little compass in his soul pointing in one direction. his true north, and the easy harbor holding him afloat in the sea. koby is with shanks - he has to trust it. the only option he can see in blue, mapped lines before him lands there with shanks' arms around koby, and both of them safe. healthy. ]
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nebulously during kobysplosion
I don't know when I'll see you again because of all of this, but it doesn't matter. So long as you're better and healthy and happy when it's over.
[ will it be over? what does it mean to have this happen? will koby want to be touched and loved and coveted by him again? ]
I'm taking care of Abraham. Took her for a swim in the lake today, chased from one side to the other.
Get some rest, Captain.
whatttt if i *sob*
Still, the words take a while to form:]
i miss you
i love you
are you okay
[I'm sorry, right there, remembering the horror, the bloody pain of their last meeting. Sorry for putting that stricken, haunted look on Quentin's face, for recoiling from him, for falling to pieces before him. Sorry for leaving him, even temporarily, without even being able to articulate what was happening. For all of it.]
no subject
I'm fine. Everyone out here is fine.
Put the phone down and rest your eyes, love.
[ i'm sorry is right there for him, too. for failing him, for not seeing he needed help, for not knowing how to fix it and make it right. for hurting him. ]
Rest. Focus on Shanks.
He needs you as much as you need him.
Take care of him for me, too.
[ because anyone who loves koby so well is worthy of quentin's love, too. ]
no subject
[It's hard. It's hard and it hurts, but he has to read and reread the words. The urge is there to reach out with all this fraught, painful, wonderful power he has, but Shanks's teaching has been gentle, but firm: don't. Opening that door now could hurt worse, could cause something irrevocable. Already the residual input Koby's trying to sort through has him slipping, thinking it's July again, or winter in the village, or spring on Alvida's ship, or some combination thereof. He forgets, he remembers, he forgets again, he remembers, and so on and so forth.
But this, a tether: I love you too. Still true, still undoubtable. Koby can nearly hear it in his ears, in the throbbing ache along his spine.]
getting easier
i'll see you soon
you can help me take care of him
[And vice-versa, every fussy, affectionate, fretting habit put on hold: has Quentin eaten, has he slept, is he taking care of himself, is he alone. The habit's one that's extended to Shanks as well, and Koby wants, suddenly, fervently, to have them both right there, the only two who saw him in that awful, anguished state, more vulnerable and helpless and terrified than he's ever been. He wants to make it right, make it safe again, show these two self-sacrificing, devoted, achingly similar sailors he's okay because of them.]
no subject
[ so many questions. he wants to ask when he's going to be better, when he's going to return, if he will come home to him, if he was the one that hurt him in the first place, if that love between them is waning because of this magic.
there's just too much he doesn't understand, but every pull of his own magic points toward koby. the little compass in his soul pointing in one direction. his true north, and the easy harbor holding him afloat in the sea. koby is with shanks - he has to trust it. the only option he can see in blue, mapped lines before him lands there with shanks' arms around koby, and both of them safe. healthy. ]
I'll see you soon.