ask the servants for colored poster putty, make a little shelf across your cheekbones with strips, unscrew an arm of your glasses, stick them in the putty
Thank you. I guess that counts for me and Erik, then. He taught me to dance. The night before. Maybe hours before, I don't know. It doesn't really feel real.
do you think maybe lifelong feelings of unreality and dissociation or whatever are because of the like trans thing? depending what it was like for you in your world
fuck off, that's a fucking lot. don't play that game "other people have it worse" my mom used to say that shit all the time to us like it would make stuff ok and it didn't
[ this conversation has like, 2am vibes and yet: ]
No, you're right. It's If I think about it too much I can't do anything else. You know? I have to keep pretending it wasn't as bad as it was or I'll never sleep again.
Yeah. Kinda. I haven't this whole month. Not enough eggs in the world to keep me from losing my gains or whatever they're called.
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i was hooking up with parisa and grace
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Actually very smart.
I thought you were chef-smart, not everything-smart.
Oh.
I'm sorry.
I was
How many times constitutes "hooking up"?
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He taught me to dance. The night before. Maybe hours before, I don't know.
It doesn't really feel real.
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Does that happen all the time?
I mean.
Most of my life feels that way.
That's incredibly depressing, I'm sorry.
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I talk a lot more.
And I don't mind you telling me depressing things, if it helps.
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can I ask something that might be insensitive and you can tell me to fuck off if it is?
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are because of the like
trans thing?
depending what it was like for you in your world
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I
Probably?
Maybe?
I've never met anyone else like me.
I mean, nobody who told me explicitly they were.
The only people at home who knew were the Marine medic and Alvida.
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there are even celebrities and stuff
so it never felt like a big deal to me
but its been a big deal to you
was alvida your mom? gf?
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I've done some reading, here. It's not...necessarily great but it's
Better than home.
She was the captain of the pirate ship I was a prisoner on, for two years.
Less a mom, more of a maniacal owner, I guess?
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that's fucked up koby, i'm sorry
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[It's not, he isn't. But time and place.]
It was a while ago now, too. And it was only two years, thats nothing compared to some people.
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don't play that game
"other people have it worse"
my mom used to say that shit all the time to us like it would make stuff ok and it didn't
[ this conversation has like, 2am vibes and yet: ]
you wanna hit the gym?
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If I think about it too much I can't do anything else.
You know?
I have to keep pretending it wasn't as bad as it was or I'll never sleep again.
Yeah. Kinda. I haven't this whole month.
Not enough eggs in the world to keep me from losing my gains or whatever they're called.
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